Log in

No account? Create an account

((Life Sucks Then You Fuckin' Die))

Nov. 2nd, 2005

02:06 pm - yeah...

yeah so pretty much life sucks now. Theres been a lot of shit goin with my family and shit. But yesterday i started working at kohls and shit. its pretty cool. But i dont know training sucks the big one. Right now im in my computer class in schoool and melissa just called me to inform me that shes going to be late picking me up today which fuckin sucks ass hole bc i have to work at 3 ahhh. but yeah im going to go now...i dont know what to talk about.

im sooo damn tired...

I wish that you would talk to me....maybe someday.....i miss you.

I cant get it out of my mind.
Nor can i get this feelin out of my chest.

Oct. 27th, 2005

08:08 pm - What the shitt...

Yeah Im A Cheater...



Fuck It....



What ever...




Current Mood: stressedstressed

Oct. 17th, 2005

06:21 pm - why do i have this feelin within me...?

yeah today has been kinda a werid day. school was mad long and i dont know ihave just had this weird feeling and i hate it. im so like depressed today and it sucks and i dont know why.

I think im missin you....

Yeah i just priced my car! all i need is $32,995 and ill be allll set lol...its the sickest car ever and I AM going to OWN one within the next few years its my goal!...lol




Standard Features 300-hp 2.5-liter DOHC intercooled, turbocharged boxer engine 300 lb-ft of torque at 4,000 rpm Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive with Driver Controlled Center Differential (DCCD) High performance sport-tuned 4-wheel independent suspension Brembo® performance brake system Daytime Running Lights (DRL) 140-watt 6-speaker premium audio system with 6-disc in-dash CD changer Automatic climate control 17-inch BBS® wheels STI-design front seats with fixed integrated head restraints and embroidered STI logos Remote keyless entry system Antitheft security system

Current Mood: blahblah

Oct. 13th, 2005

03:27 pm - Sup...

Yeah, i got my computer back.
theres been so much shit goin on the past few weeks it not even funny. Ive come to relize that you cant trust n e one these days at all. No one. Not even the people that you love and you think love you. One min they are there and the next they are doing something to hurt you and it sucks. I don't understand how people can like doing that to others but what ever i guess.

Things are going alright with me and justin i guess. we see each other everyday and i mean i like it but i dont know i just am so scared to get to attached to him and get my heart broken again. I mean yeah i love the kid but i dont know sometimes he really just makes me wonder.

Tristan called me last night...at 12:35am bitching at me bc he heard that i have become this stoner, raging alcholic, and slut, i guess that i go to school every day blazed off my ass and drunk and i guess that ive heard fucked 15 guys from PA. Yeeeaaaah and thats alll soooo not true seeing as i havnt smoked nor done N E drugs in the past 2 years, the last time that i got drunk was about a month ago when i called him hammered off my ass and said some stupid shit, AND i DEF have NOT fucked 15 guys from my school seeing as i dont even like n e 1 from my school and i havent dated n e one from PA since 9th grade. but yeah i guess he can go think and belive what he wants. oh and somewhere in there i guess that im going to have Justins kid in 5 months...haha yeah right...i love how people talk shit it just makes me want to laugh untill i cant breathe n e more. lol. but what ever hes fuckin gay. he sawys that he dont care n e more but when i tell him what i lied to him about during our 9 month relationship he begins to cry and scream "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? HOW???" and i just sit there and laugh to myself and say....welllllllll becuase you are a FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL AND NEED TO GET A LIFE AND NOT TRY AND RUN OTHERS! and i told him i lied to him becuase he was a controling ass hole. buuuut the funny part is too is that i told him that i have never lied to justin and i wont no matter if it will kill him. ooooh and a reallly funny thing that he asked me was...."so is justins dick bigger than mine is?" and i laughed and i was like "FUCK YEAH....WE HAD PROBLEMS GETTING IT IN!" and he started to cry it was funnny, i got a good laugh out of it! im such a BITCH and i LOVE IT!!!

Well im outta here...i think this is long enough evn tho i could right a damn novel about Tristan and my life. lol

L-a-T-e-R K-i-D-d-O-s...

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: ummm yeah

Sep. 19th, 2005

11:39 am - its been a while

yeah its def been a long ass time since i have written n e thing in this thing. My computer has been broken since the begining of the summer. so yeah i have a lot to say but i dont have that much time. I have a new boy friend that is so awesome. i dont know what i would do with out him. I met him at one of stacys partys this summer. we fell down some stairs fliped over a banaster and then into a mop bucket. i guess you could say that it was all over right there. lol but yeah we have been goin out for about a month and a half now. his names Justin. hes awesome. Ive been partying soooo much now that im not with Tristan and i love it. I called him the other night hammered i guess and he got soooo pissed off but i loved it. he also found out yesterday that i slept over my ex's house while we were on a brake and i never told him. but what ever i dont care. he told me he wouldnt care if i fuckin died. so why should i fuckin care? right. well im about to go leave school now. me and david are goin to leave. then im goin home and then pickin up my baby from school. i should have a computer by the end of the week YEYYY!!! im sooo happy. i miss it so much. omg and i need a new job soooo badly! alright well this is good enough for now becuase i have to go now ill wirte more later on if i can...

Later Kiddos


Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: nadda

Jul. 8th, 2005

03:55 pm

Yeah my computer is broken...so i dont know when im getting a new one so it might be a while till i update again....sorry guys...

Lost And Confused

when u cry be sure to dry your eyes cause better days are sure to come and when you smile be sure to smile wide and dont let them know that they have won and when you walk walk with pride and dont show the hurt inside because the pain will soon be gone and when you dream dream big as big as the ocean blue cause when you dream it might come true when you dream dream big

Jun. 28th, 2005

09:21 pm - Well lets see...

u would think by now I would know my way around I shouldnt miss u so badly I should be on familiar ground How many more lonely years must meander by until I learn the lesson it does no good 2 cry What manner of iron will must some people possess 2 be always looking forward to never accept regress Perhaps if I was willing 2 let someone take me by the hand they could show me a happy place in this unfamiliar land Perhaps Im only homesick for all the joys that once were mine I must accept that they and u belong 2 another place n time But I know that deep within my heart theres a place where only u reside and when the pain of loneliness comes it knows that is where I hide So if sometimes it seems to you, I'm clinging to the past its mostly because I cant yet accept that our love didn't last No matter how hard I try Ive yet 2 get over u for the part of me thats still alive believes u love me 2
Maybe there will come a day when that part will finally die n feeling strong with a heart reborn a new love I will finally try n what a splendid day that will be when I awaken to discover Im happily learning a great new land with a great new friend n lover

Im so lost with out you...but yet i know i need to let you go...i never thought it would be this hard.

Stacys party was fuckin awesome..never been more trashed in my life...

Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: dashboard

Jun. 19th, 2005

09:21 am - Tell me that the end is near.

SO FUCKIN PISSED...I JUST WROTE THE LONGEST ENTRY AND IT GOT FUCKIN ERASED!!!! IVE BEEN TYPING IT FOR THE PAST 45 MIN MIN!!!! AHHHH SOMEONE JUST KILL ME. WHAT AM I WORTH ANYWAYS? NOTHING! Do not stand at my grave and forever weep. I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and forever cry. I am not there. I did not die yet

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: papa roach

May. 31st, 2005

06:08 pm

(Ooh, ooh, sweet love, yeah)

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt

The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

Well yeah...i just went to the mall with my brother and Tristan....i got a new cd...and ate some food. im fuckin sick and im pissed off...but now im going to go take a nap...

Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Mariah Cerey (ewe were ment to be together)

May. 30th, 2005

09:49 pm

Have you ever had the feeling,
Where you just want to give up?
Let you heart stop beating?
Let your breathing stop?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Where you want it all to end?
For everything to stop working,
For your problems just to mend?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Of just wanting to lie down and die?
To become another distant memory,
Another star in the sky?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Of losing someone you love?
Knowing their body is under ground,
And their soul is up above?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Of thinking you killed someone?
Where you can’t feel anything,
You can’t feel the heat of the sun?

Have you ever had the feeling,
That just won’t go away?
No matter how long or hard you cry,
No matter how long or hard you pray?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Of getting something great?
You’re given it for a second,
And then away they do take?

Have you ever had the feeling,
Of not wanting to go to sleep?
Because you fear the dreams that await you,
You fear the feelings that will seep?

Have you ever had the feeling,
That seems to cut you like a knife?
Sharing a problem is a problem halved,
So welcome to my life.






But i love my ponie...at least he understands and acually LISTENS to me...unlike someone I fuckin wish I didnt know...

Current Mood: depresseddepressed

Navigate: (Previous 10 Entries)